9. Torn to pieces...? Which half do I choose?

Love.

Ever feel like you're being ripped two? Feeling like you're torn between two half's of yourself is probably one of the most tormenting things one can experience. I myself struggle everyday.

There is no need to feel as though you lost sight of up and down, north and south or even right and wrong. Calibrate yourself.  How can there be a "right" choice when you have two wrongs?

With your permission, I would like to share a story with you. My parents have been divorced for as long as I can remember. I cannot recall one memory of my parents being together. My father, lives in Montreal (Quebec, Canada). My mother, lives in Neillsville (Wisconsin, USA). I would travel twice a year to spend a week with my mom. It's been that way my whole life. I was close to my mom, though I hardly ever saw her. It was hard, emotionally straining. Seeing her wave goodbye as my plane rapidly accelerated down the runway. My sister and I cried allot. It was hard, as is still painful to think about.

Last October, I decided to move to Wisconsin. What caused me to move? Well, for starters I had always wanted to get closer to my mom and sister (who moved to be with my mom at the age of 12). The true source of motivation to move halfway across the continent came in the form of an angel. Despite a quick and yet very powerful long distance romance, I was determined to see it through. Heartbreakingly, she was in a relationship a day or two before I was able to arrive. It crushed me, sending me into a deep depression. However, I was determined to make my move worthwhile. I found a job I enjoyed, and dove into it.  I payed off my debt, and found what I thought was love. Turns out, this new found girl just used me-and after a couple months of a very unhealthy and emotionally abusive relationship, I decided to end it.

I moved back with my mom, found a decent job that I actually enjoyed. My mother was happy that I was closer to her now. My father wasn't quite as thrilled. I felt so torn. It hurt so bad, having to choose between two people I loved. Long story short, I had a very long (and hard) conversation with my dad. I explained to him me moving was what was best for me, and that I didn't move away from him because I didn't love him. I love both my parents very much. It was, and remains a hard choice. One day, my parents will be gone.. so if I live my life for them-where will that leave me?

Nothing is easy. I have learnt to enjoy things out of my control, and to try to find the positive in however horrid of a situation. The girl I moved for, is still in a relationship. I miss her alot, but respect her enough to not interfere. I miss having her as a friend, if not anything more. My heart longs for her, and I think of her constantly.

Tonight I saw the most spectacular shooting star. It was just like in the movies. It streaked from one horizon to the next, with a very long bright tail that followed it. Breathtaking. I made a wish. I wished for her to have peace of heart. I may not be in the greatest position in life, but she meant the world to me and despite everything, I want her to be happy, with or without me. I won't flatter myself and say I can win her over, for devotion of the heart is always deep.  I simply want her to be happy. Is it wrong to ask for such a thing?

True love, to me isn't about finding the ideal person. With this girl, I loved everything about her.. I didn't just accept her flaws, I fell in love with them as well.

What is the point of all of this? What can we learn from this?

Find someone:
- who is as afraid of losing you as you are of losing them.
- Makes you more whole of a person
- brings out the best in you
- makes you cry of joy, and not pain
- appreciates you as a person
- doesn't just accept or "live" with your past or faults, but falls in love with them-for those too are parts of you.

Of course I can write a million pages on what the ideal person is.. to me, it's her... but that's my flawed opinion. Dig deeper though..... why would I bother ranting about all of this?

Love. You can love many people, and you can be in love with people. Despite my numerous heartbreaks, I feel grateful that I've felt love.  The difference is deciding which is best for you. I didn't choose between my parents.. I am simply basing the decision on what is best for me right now. It's hard, but I feel better.

Don't lie to yourself. If you aren't happy with something or someone.. maybe it's time to move on? Decide if it's time to turn the page, or to close the book. Do things that make you happy. I play guitar, go get donuts and coffee at all hours of the night with my friends. I fly constantly (but never enough haha).

I surround myself with people who care about me, and that I know will always be there for me.

It's hard, when you find out who is actually there for you. I thought I had a million people who cared about me, turns out I was wrong. But now, I know who will have my back. I would take a bullet for those people.

One of my favourite pieces of literature is called, "Desiderata". It is beautifully written. I posted it below, I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do...

Take a moment to read it. It is filled with wisdom and beauty. I look forward to seeing you next time, and let's strive to be happy :)

DESIDERATA:

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul. 

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

8. The Mythical "Happily Ever After"

8. The Mythical "Happily Ever After"

Well, well, well... hello there wise ones..

As we grow as persons through maturity and wisdom, let us now contemplate the meaning of the phrase; "Happily ever after".

No doubt, this has been heard mostly in fairy tales.. and we, in the real world, like to think of it as things better to come.

When I asked that question to a couple people, they all looked at me like I am crazy. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.. who knows, eh?  I asked, purely out of curiosity of what other people thought of it. Sadly, nobody really knew. The answers I received were always more or less the same.. "I need to graduate, get a job, meet someone, new car, a family and then I can be happy and be "happily ever after" ".

Shocked, with the responses that I had gotten. I reflected on the question, "What IS being happily ever after?" The answer is simple, and falls right in our path to being bliss. The answer, to living happily ever after, is living NOW. ....No, I don't think I'm crazy.. let me explain.

In my second post, Learning to see beauty which we could rename to, "Learning to live in the "now". Buddha once said, "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Or in another one quote from Annie Dillard who said, "How we spend our days is of course how we spend our lives". Or another one, from Deepak Chopra, who said, "Every moment will offer itself as a window onto eternity, a doorway to the infinite". Or again, Jinny Ditzler was quoted saying, "The secret to happiness is to open the crack between the past and the future and live life in the moment we're in".

In the bible, Matthews 6:31, Therefore do not be anxious, saying, "What shall we eat?", or, "what shall we drink?" or "what shall we wear?" The text goes on to continue, "Therefore, do not be anxious of tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." In the bible, we can see that worrying about a problem, is ridiculous. Why are you WORRIED about being happy tomorrow, when you can concentrate on being happy today? Why would you let tomorrow ruin your happiness today? Christianity, Buddhism, even Islam teaches us to live in the present moment.

Living happily ever after, is not a futuristic idea, it is an idea of the present-often set in the future. That is where we go wrong. Will the sun not shine, or the birds not sing in the future the way they do now? Live now, and ENJOY the things around you as they happen.

Reflect, and feel free to share with me your thoughts. The journey continues my friends.

7. The Natural Cycle of Life

Why do we become saddened when things come to an end?

While talking to my gf today, she had just left a concert and while we were texting, I felt she was sad. When I asked her, she responded saying how she hates how everything must end.. the end of a good book, a series on the television, or even a concert. This got me thinking.. why do we become saddened when anything in life ends?

Think about this.. When the universe was created, everything was created with an end. As we know, the only certainty we all share in life is death. The end of our lives. Not to sound like a Debbie Downer, but with this in mind, would it not be natural that we should be saddened by an ending, or perhaps, look at it from a spiritual angle, and realize that the ending is simply the beginning of something else? Imagine reading a book that never ends.. you would never have a chance to discover any other beautiful piece of literature, apart from the one that never ends.

In the natural circle of life, everything begins and ends. In Buddhism, they believe in reincarnation, meaning that when one life ends, another begins-each one their own journeys and each life a new source and chance to learn, each life a new beginning. When an old tree dies, it slowly decomposes back into the earth. Once it has once again become one with the earth, it provides nutrients for the chance of a new tree to grow. One of my favourite quotes by Albert Einstein, "Look deep enough into nature, and then you will understand everything better". Remember when I talked about how it is important to look at the stars, or listen to the birds? It all ties in together, and suddenly makes even more sense. Do not live in fear, live in denial or ignorance.

Sometimes it's better to know when to turn the page, or to simply start a new book.

Reflect and meditate on the subject, and come back with your "Findings". Let us continue on our path to a state of Bliss. As always, I'll be waiting here. Next, let's talk about living "happily ever after".

This next section I dedicate to my friend, Josh.

6 .Big Five Down

The first 5 were the hardest.. the "biggest" changes in your though process, and lifestyle..

If you have made it to this stage let me be the first to congratulate you on making it to this point. The purpose of this little post is just so that, in case you haven't, we may see how far we've already come. Let's take a look shall we?

When I first wrote Bliss, I mean, when I wrote the Into to Bliss, I never thought that I would have people reading any of this. I was thinking that I would take the journey on my own, and should anyone read Bliss, then they could see how much it worked for me.

The journey, that we are on, as you can see for yourself no doubt, is much harder than anyone expected. Let's face it, it's not easy always being honest with yourself. It is definitely not easy to see beauty in every situation either! 

I would lie to all of you saying it was easy for me, but even 5 post's later, 8 unpublished drafts, 125 faithful followers, and a couple hundred page views a week later and it is still hard for me to be honest within myself, to be at peace, to see beauty. However, I admit, I feel much happier already. I feel a ease with myself, and with those around me. I have the patience now, to be able to deal with almost everything. 

If your journey, is anything as similar to mine, it's not an easy one, but it is definitely much more rewarding. 

Let us not give up, instead let the challenge be a motivation. Prove to yourself, above all others, that you can change and be who you are, not who other's want you to be. Live for yourself, and give strength and courage for others to follow your footsteps.  Find within yourself to stay truthful, and to keep seeing beauty where other's unfortunately do not. 

You have reached this point. We will continue to strive and to push forward. Now that we have become familiar, and have started to work on the basic concepts, I believe it is a good time for us to keep moving forward. Keep working on the basics, and let us continue on this path that is rewarding us, and those close to us. Peace for all, first starts with peace from within you. Remember, work on this constantly.. Things don't change overnight, these are lifestyle changes needed to grow and develop.. kind of like learning how to walk.

5. Meditation

Meditation...

When I use the word meditation, what image jumps into your mind? Religion jumps to the minds of most. Let me help you understand what meditation truly is, this way you can too enjoy this fantastic experience.

Clearing your mind after a long day, is without doubt a must. We all have our own techniques. For some, it may be a beer, some tea, others go running, while some lay on the couch, turn on the TV and zone out. All I guess are acceptable methods, some better than others. However, let me to introduce another one, which I believe is stronger, provides true relaxation, and may assist us on our journey.

To meditate is to relax and clear the mind of all.  This allows for your inner wisdom, your soul, to speak through the noise of your life. Meditation does not require hours of time, but it does require a little bit of it.

How to PROPERLY meditate;

1. Sit cross legged (or on your knees with a pillow underneath your butt), preferably somewhere soft and comfortable. Pretend to be seated on a flower, after all, you are a flower of god, and the universe.

2. Put your weaker hand at the top, stronger hand at the bottom. This is a symbol of vulnerability, and willingness for the strength to flow up from your soul. Important to be comfortable and rest your hands on your legs. The open palms is a symbol and shows the willingness to receive your wisdom from within and the universe.
This picture shows a left handed person.

3. Breathe. Starting out, I used to count my breaths. One-in, two-out, one-in, two-out. Focus on this while you meditate. "Focus on nothing". and count your breaths. It's hard at first, but after a couple times of true meditation, you will literally be able to "zone out" and be in an altered state of mind.

Its as simple as that, just remember to be comfortable, and you can switch it up. As you get the hang of it, you will develop your own style of meditation, and create your own symbols while you do so. I will post an advanced meditation post in a couple of weeks, after you guys start to master this.

Remember that your mind is like water, moulded by things around you, but always shapeless and limitless, just as your soul is.

4. Honey I'm home...

Funny how things so rapidly change..

One day you're in love, and the next your alone. One day you're working for the biggest international airline, and the next, you're living in your mom's spare bedroom. Suddenly, your heart is drowned again, only this time stronger, and with the feeling of love, though felt not in just your heart, but in your soul as well. Life is, most definitely, unexpected. The bumps you experience, like the road you drive, changes. A road requires constant maintenance, so does your mind and soul. 

Remember in my first post, I told you about my layover in Singapore? Are you able to recall what that monk told me? Look where I am now, a little over a year and I am back to this blog. Why? Look back at what that monk had told me.. then you will understand how I got to being here again.  I am back, and to my faithful followers, I think it's time to resume our journey... thought it never truly stopped... did it?

What did you do today for yourself? Did you have one moment to share with your heart? When is the last time you listened to the birds, or looked at the stars? It is important to do simple things such as watching the night sky, or listening to the songs of the birds. By doing things like this, it reminds us that the universe, and everything around us is so much bigger than we are. It is a reminder that we are all so small in the majestic song of life. With, or without you, the stars will come out every night, and the moon will still have a face, and the birds will still fly and sing.

Take a moment, and watch the world as is moves and remember that each and every person has a story, a never ending influence on the world, a purpose and a destiny that they are called on to accomplish. They may not know it, maybe they never will truly realize their purpose, but you can hear the call and all you need to do is listen. I listen to my soul, have you ever heard yours? Let me help you, I'll show you how on my next post.

Remember that there is only, and ever will be one certainty in your life; death. Everything else leading to that point is the journey. Enjoy it.